Love is Blind: Online Dating Scams

Posted on February 14, 2025 by Business Development Rep Samantha

Don’t get your heart broken in an online dating scam or by losing the funds in your bank account this Valentine’s Day. The idioms “love is blind” and “looking through rose-colored glasses” might sound cliché, but call attention to an important phenomenon – feelings of love can cause you to throw caution to the wind and overlook flaws in a romantic interest that you might typically not ignore. It’s harder to ignore red flags that are staring right at you, like when your romantic interest is sitting directly across from you. However, in an age where it’s increasingly common to meet your partner on any number of dating apps or websites, you might have to look for those red flags before the first date even happens. Repeatedly ignoring invitations to video chat or meet in person, or asking for money before you’ve done so, might seem like obvious red flags. Nonetheless, those rose-colored glasses can help you make an excuse for anything. Make sure you aren’t blinded by love and can determine if those “red flags” are actually a romance scam.

What is a Romance Scam?

A romance scam begins like many romantic pursuits ordinarily do in the twenty first century—you match with someone on a dating app or website, or you have a new connection waiting for you on social media. In almost all instances, they reach out to you first and express their interest in getting to know you. It’s not long before you find yourself texting them at all hours of the night or longing to hear their voice over the phone. That’s because, somehow, this person checks off every box on your list. You like a certain musician? They like that musician too. You’ve been dreaming of visiting a remote island? They are too. You start wondering where they have been all your life. Eventually, meeting them in person seems like a natural next step. Then, the excuses start to flow. They say they want to meet you, but “living on an off-shore oil rig” or “working at a military base” is getting in the way. They reassure you that they will meet you one day, but want to keep pursuing a romantic relationship online in the meantime. However, this person has no intention of building a relationship with you and is interested in one thing—your money. If they get it, they will likely disappear with your money and hopes of a relationship without a trace.

What are the Favorite Lies of Romance Scammers?

The lies a romance scammer will tell to get your money are endless. A lie might sound outrageous, but the romance scammer is a trained professional. They typically cultivate a relationship with you over weeks, months, or even years before they ask for any funds. The FTC compiled a list of romance scammers’ favorite lies to watch out for to protect your heart and money. Popular reasons to avoid meeting in real life or needing money can sound like this:

“I or someone close to me is sick, hurt, or in jail.”
“I’m in the military far away.”
“We’ve never met, but let’s talk about marriage.”
“I’m on an oil rig or ship.”
“I can’t afford to visit you or meet you without it.”

The FTC warns that many romance scammers might even flip it on you, offering to do you a favor. This might sound like an offer to teach you how to invest in cryptocurrency or to send you a valuable package. In both scenarios, the money you give to the romance scammer to “invest for you” or to “ship the valuable package” ends up right in their pockets.

What are Other Red Flags?

While lies are an important piece of the romance scam puzzle, the ways they would like to receive the funds complete it. If your love interest is requesting payment through uncommon methods, it is most likely a scam. The scammer will usually ask you to send cryptocurrency, gift card codes, or wire money. This is because these transactions are hard to track and do not have protections for buyers or senders in place. Another red flag is if your family and friends express concern over your new love interest. Your loved ones want nothing but the best for you, so it should sound the alarm if they express apprehension when you tell them about your online love interest and their request for funds.

How Can You Protect Yourself from Romance Scammers?

Never send money to your online love interest. Nobody legitimate will claim that sending cryptocurrency, gift card codes, or wiring money are the only ways you can help them. On the flip side, never trust someone who insists they can teach you how to invest or send you a valuable package to improve your financial situation. They are only looking to improve theirs.
Reverse image search pictures. Another cliché that applies to romance scams is, “If there’s a will, there’s a way.” Your online love interest should, at the very least – find a way to video chat if they can’t meet you in person. However, the reason they can’t video chat or meet in person is because romance scammers often use fake identities. You can reverse search profile pictures or other images they send you to see if the details they tell you about themselves are adding up.

Most importantly, the FTC encourages everyone to do their part. You can help stop romance scammers by reporting suspicious profiles or messages to the platform where you saw them. You can also report your experience directly to the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov. Lastly, pass information regarding romance scams along to a friend. You may not have fallen victim to a romance scam, but someone you know can.

First Financial wants to help protect your personal and financial information and your heart, during the season of love. If you have any concerns or have reason to suspect that your information has fallen into the hands of a scammer, don’t hesitate to contact us at 732.312.1500 or visit us at your local branch.

Is it Love or a Ploy to Steal Your Cash? Romance and Online Dating Scams

Posted on June 16, 2023 by VP of Marketing and Business Development Jessica

Have you been asked to send money to an online love before you’ve met in person? It may be a scam. Here’s what you need to know about romance and online dating scams.

Online Dating and Virtual Relationships Can Lead to Romance Scams

They say “love is blind.” This is especially true when it comes to looking for love online. Unfortunately, the popularity of online dating and using dating apps has created a new avenue for scammers to embed themselves into people’s daily lives with fake profiles and phony promises. Romance scams are growing in popularity, so if you are looking to meet someone online make sure you are not blinded by love and will notice if something seems fishy.

How Romance Scams Work

Scammers create fake profiles that are aimed at gaining your affection and trust. They may have an unusually high number of similar interests, and once you engage with them, they will contact you frequently with intense flattery to establish a quick relationship. The only caveat is that they can’t meet in person. They will provide excuses such as serving in the military or other remote commitments.

After spending weeks – or months – building a connection with you, they will eventually ask for money, typically through an electronic payment method that is fast and cannot be reversed (think P2P payment apps such as Venmo and Zelle). Common reasons include travel expenses to finally come see you, medical emergencies, or debt relief to start a new life together. They will make false promises about the future, but if you refuse – they’ll seemingly threaten your relationship and stir up guilt until you finally agree. This may take place during times when many people feel lonely, such as around Valentine’s Day or during the holidays. After you send the requested money, the scammer will disappear.

What You Can Do If a Scammer Targets You

If you suspect an online romance seems suspicious, make sure you slow down and ask questions. Try doing a Google image search with their photos to make sure they are not random pictures the scammer found online. If you believe you may be interacting with a scammer, report the user to the platform or app where you first made contact, and do not send them any money.

Were you the unfortunate victim of a financial scam? Here are a few things you can do to protect your identity and sensitive information:

Notify law enforcement including your local police department if applicable, or for an internet crime you can file a complaint with the FBI’s IC3 website.
Alert your financial institutions to ensure they aren’t processing requests for payments or other transactions like wire transfers without your confirmation.
Let the credit bureaus know so you can freeze your credit report and profile.
Change your passwords for any online accounts that may have been compromised.
Monitor your credit by subscribing to identity and credit monitoring services. These services will help you monitor your personal information such as your name, Social Security Number, linked bank accounts, and more.

At First Financial, our goal is to help protect our members from scams and identity theft. If you have any concerns or questions about any of your First Financial accounts, please call member services at 732.312.1500 or visit one of our branches.

To learn more about scams and ways to protect yourself, visit zellepay.com/pay-it-safe.

Zelle and the Zelle related marks are wholly owned by Early Warning Services, LLC and are used herein under license.

Online Dating Scams are Actually a Thing, and They’re Breaking Hearts & Bank Accounts

Posted on October 10, 2017 by VP of Marketing and Business Development Jessica

It’s happening all over, and closer to home than you may think. Scammers are continuing to fake online dating profiles using photos of other people to lure their victims. Once connected, the scammers often say they are from the U.S., but are temporarily traveling or working overseas. The scammers quickly profess their love and tug at the victim’s emotions with fake stories and their need for money. The victims often send the scammers money or provide online banking login credentials.

How exactly does the scam work?

The scammers start by stealing a photo from an internet site. The photos are usually of beautiful people and the quality of the photo is high. The photos are usually stolen from modeling sites with reports that 90% of them are being taken from a site called Focus Hawaii. If you think you are being scammed, go to this site and browse the photos to see if the person you are communicating with has a photo on this site. They also use photos taken from profiles of other people on dating sites.
They then post ads with fake profiles on online dating sites. They also lurk in chat rooms and social networking sites, as well as Christian and other religious-based dating sites. They spend months chatting up and luring their targets with online intimacy.
The scammers often pretend to be foreign specialists temporarily working in Nigeria or other overseas countries. A slight twist is when the scammer pretends to live in the same country as the victim, and once a relationship has developed, then advise them they are required to go to another country on an assignment. Some of the sophisticated scammers send flowers or candy (from stolen credit cards) to capture hearts.
The fraudsters then choose one of two approaches: 1) They either state that their employer pays them with money orders and they can’t cash them in Nigeria or are having trouble cashing them. Then they convince their “soul mate” to bank this deposit into their bank account and wire them the money via Western Union. They are often told to keep some of the money for their trouble (which helps to build trust and also helps make them an accessory to the crime!). After a few weeks the bank will tell the victim that the money orders are fraudulent and then the victim is often responsible for paying the money back to the bank, and in some cases face charges of passing a counterfeit instrument. 2) The alternative is to say their wallet has been stolen, the hotel owner is holding their passport, customs officials need to be bribed, new plane tickets are needed, they have been victimized and put in jail and need money to get out, or they need money for some sort of medical reason, etc. The reasons for needing the money will sound plausible. Regardless of the story, the end result is the same – the cyber “soul mate” is asked to send money!

Other romance scam variations include:

Victims are duped into providing online banking login credentials to the scammers under the guise that the scammers do not have access to financial services in the foreign country in which they are traveling or working. The scammer logs into the account and uses the account-to-account external transfer feature to initiate debits against accounts at other institutions pulling funds into the victim’s account for deposit. The victim is instructed to send the funds to the scammer by Western Union or MoneyGram. The debits are subsequently returned to the financial institution as unauthorized up to 60 days later.
The scammer logs into the victim’s account and accesses the mobile remote deposit capture service, or requests access if it isn’t already set-up. The scammer transmits images of fraudulent checks via mobile deposit to the victim’s account. Again, the victim is instructed to send the funds to the scammer by Western Union or MoneyGram. The checks are subsequently returned unpaid.

How to spot an online dating scam:

The person is new to the website or hasn’t logged in many times.
The photo looks like a model or looks “too good to be true.”
The profile is not well written.
You are asked to go straight from on-site messaging to off-site messaging such as regular email or instant messaging (to prevent the dating site administrators seeing the evidence of the scam and kicking them off the site).
The scammer will find ways to get out of live video chat because the profile photo is fake. The excuse they will give is their lack of technology overseas. They will usually hire someone with an appropriate accent for the phone calls.

Follow these specific safeguards for online dating:

Research the person’s photo and profile using online searches to see if the material has been used elsewhere.
Go slow and ask lots of questions.
Beware if the individual seems too perfect or quickly asks you to leave a dating site or Facebook to go “offline.”
Beware if the individual attempts to isolate you from friends and family, or requests inappropriate photos or financial information that could later be used to extort you.
Beware if the individual promises to meet in person, but then always comes up with an excuse why he or she can’t. If you haven’t met the person after a few months, for whatever reason, you have good reason to be suspicious.
Never send money to anyone you don’t know personally!

What to do if you suspect someone you are communicating with is an online scammer:

Once the scammer has asked for money, stop all communication with them.
Report them to the dating site.
No matter how trustworthy they may seem, DO NOT SEND THEM MONEY!
If you have already sent them money – your chances of getting it back are probably zero, but you should report the incident to your local police and the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3).

T.H.I.N.K First because There’s Harm In Not Knowing!

Article Sources:

https://www.fbi.gov/news/stories/romance-scams

http://www.watchforscams.com/nigerian-dating-scams.html